Dad: The Second Time of Saying Farewell

I'll try this again! I wrote this earlier and the computer somehow deleted it. Dad, are you channeling again?

We got home from work the day before our weekend began, and soon after my wife's sister called to say their father had died peacefully after a morning of good spirits and humorous interaction with the staff of his nursing home. We actually worked that night, and everyone was very supportive, with the store manager telling us we could have 3 days of bereavement leave if needed - and we took them up on it to follow our weekend.

We flew to Idaho on Thursday, offered our support and comfort to Mom, and I prepared to do the service - having learned from my beloved that my earlier offer to do the service, they refused because they thought it would be to difficult for me to do. I drew on my years of experience as a pastor, memories of my interactions with her Dad and how he helped me get through my seminary theology courses and gave insights while I was actively pastoring churches.

Our son, daughter-in-law, and grandson arrived very early Friday morning and we got some quality time with our grandson, Justin Lee. Our daughter and son-in-law arrived later Friday, and we got good time with them as well. Two of my wife's cousins came with their spouses and some good sharing happened with them as well.

The service was a mix of the serious and the humorous, using a couple of Dad's pet phrases - "Where have you been?" to start the service, "We're off like a dirty shirt." when the service was over. It caused some memories of my own father's funeral, and memories of my interactions with Mary's dad through the years.

One of the most amazing things about this man born in 1914 was his amazing openness to new insights and new science within his faith expression - open to the beginning of inclusive language shown in the beginning of table grace, "We thank thee, our Father, our Mother . . ." and his willingness to welcome persons traditionally shunned or persecuted by the church. If only more could learn to be more like Dad!

So, Dad, farewell, until we meet again! Because I have no doubt we will see one another again!

Peace!

Family Visits

We learned a very difficult and trying lesson of life this last weekend. Thanksgiving came, and brought our son, daughter-in-law, and grandson. Unfortunately, my wife started a new job just a very short time before they arrived for a large retail corporation. She couldn't get time off , though she had asked for it. I was able to ask for and get time off. It is very hard for her to deal with because she loves our son and his family very much. Of the 3 full days they were here, she got to be with them less than 4 hours. That included a family dinner.

Our grandson is such a cheerful baby that it is hard to believe, and we got some wonderful pictures of 3 generations, including our grandson in the dress his great-grandfather wore as a baby.

This visit was complicated by the decision of her parents that they would make their snow-bird trip to Las Vegas now. So, while we tried to enjoy the first visit with our son's family since June, we also were caught marginally in the hectic pack and stack of getting ready for their move. Her sister was nearly run ragged trying to appease, pack and shop for them. She was also the chief aim of their confused state during all of this.

The lessons? Simply that life happens! You never know for sure what life will throw at you as you try to plan for events like this. And, be ready, because when you are trying to celebrate, life just might toss in a lemon or three!

My lovely wife's greatest concern is that our son understand she tried to get time off, and couldn't. I've tried to assure her he does understand, often not having time off when we used to visit. But the emotional loss of not visiting and not playing with our first grandchild, coupled with the emotional and physical stresses of Black Friday are not allowing her to accept that.

I will continue to assure her, and to mediate the different views until we are able to reach some balance, and gain some perspective.

I hope you will do the same. For far too many people are caught on the horns of puzzles and conundrums they cannot fathom. We need to start helping them find that balance!!

Peace and happiness this holiday season!